since im procrastinating in an extreme way, i thought id try and explain my tattoo design. This will not explain it all, as in many respects its a full reflection of my character, and each part makes several referances to things important to me...
i worked on it for about 6 months, from developing concepts through sketching, ink designs, development and abstracting, then finally getting it inked on for my 19th. my father is the only other to have this tattoo, on his upper arm.

the initial concept was that of a dream catcher. i find illusions, and delusion very interesting. through buddhist beliefs, we all are delluded to some extent. we have 'self grasping desires' (or something like that) which prevent us from having a balanced perspective. the final two words, and integrity, being the 3 pillars of my character in a way. and key behind the design.
so the dream catcher, being within an abstracted eye, is about seeing through dillusion, not getting caught up in dreams and nightmares too much. not letting jealousy and selfish motives influence my interpretation of events, and thus my actions and feelings too much.

It is to balance cynism and idealism, optomism and pessemism, depression with euphoria. since balance is a constant struggle, i do not seek a flat life, but to experience each, remaining objective as i feel each, to whatever extent i feel ready, or am subject to.

the eye is also said to be the window to the soul, and i love eyes, they reveal so much about a person.

the spirals also represent galaxies (also vague referance to yin and yang), and thus astrology/astronomy (as does the crescent moon). i am fascinated by these studies, and think they do have a great influence on our mood. the moon in particular, governing the tides (waves along edges of eye to refer to the sea)
full moons are stunning as well, and in classical literature, all below the moon, sublunar, is said to be mortal, all above it, immortal (stars, sun, gods...)

i love the sea, and am fascinated also by water,and the 4 elements and the ideal of being quintessential. i always seek self improvement, to reach this ideal, or enlightenment of some kind. however i feel most drawn to water and fire as elements.
the sea just hyponotises me, its colours, motion, sounds, smells, feel... each passage of water has its own character.
water is also fundamental to our existance, and has a peculiar structure, in that it is polar...

there is a tear, of blood or water within the eye. a referance to sorrow, and my experience with depression. it bring balance tho, as for every joy there is an accompanying sorrow. to love someone, u may lose them. to enjoy some time, u will pass it and miss it.. etc. this is also refering to self grasping dillusion; as removing *desirous attachment* to things in life brings contentment within buddhism. yet this is a struggle for me, as tho im not materialistic, i grow attached thru love, to friends, family, partners. and tho i am stronger now, i have always been very sensitive, both to my own emotions and that of anyone i care for. If one i care for is down, i literally feel as they do, maybe to a lesser extent, but theres a resonance...
i also pursue compassion to all, regardless of any prejudice i may have, or how disillusioned with life, and human anture i may feel.this is by no means easy at times.

there is a simplified heart above the tear, inverted. the tattoo is a little above my heart, and i prioritise emotions greatly in my life. i also think its essential to understand them within yourself through introspection, such that it allows one to be outrospective more, and have greater empathy.
tho it may never be possible to fully contemplate anothers mind, as you would have to lead their life, and more, we are all akin in our hearts. we have a different balance of drives, and react differently, make different choices- this is what makes us individuals- but regardless of age, race, gender... there are distinct patterns to our nature..
which in my view, are related to our drives, emotions, they have power over our mind greater than many acknowledge.

the circle is important. its a referance to cycles, and balance. balance is essential, and harmony, IMO.
call is causality, karma, referance one of newtons laws..
in life, there is always need fr it. the moon being a crescent is also a referance to this, cycles. 13 lunar cycles, signs of zodiac. tides being cycles, everything...
the infinity sign would have been harder to encorporate, but the circle is a powerful and simple symbol.
used in mandalas (tools for meditation), where the centre represents enlightenment, there is the heart, and centre of the eye.
wedding bands are circular and gold, an eternal untarnishable material, and a never ending shape. it can represent perfection, tho the centre is the key point and focus.

it also refers to the sun, worshipped often, Ra, etc. it is key to life on this planet, as much as water, representing fire, energy. it is above the moon, thus eternal. it has cycles, giving us day night.. etc. it governs the cycle of water essential to all life, combined with the moon.
also, in celtic cultures, the moon is seen as a sign of femininity, the stag of masculinity. i was going to incorporate a celtic design, but am using that in an arm band design later. i think a balance between what is stereotyped as masculine an feminine is very healthy in ones perspective, and life. bringing greater understanding and harmony.

well, thats all i can think of saying. incoherent as it is, its hard to explain all the referances, as they are tangled together, like the web of the dreamcatcher itself. it grows in meaning for me, and the name illusions child is a referance to it, with some irony.
since we are all, in some ways, results of various illusions we have, as none but those enlightened have none.
this is all easier to explain with sketches and in person, but meh.

i love this design, will need to have it touched up a bit soon, but it is a reflection of my soul, as i was at 19, and my core beliefs, which will remain as such for my time.

i use this now as a glyph, as my mark. tho i am working on various new tattoos, with much in common in theme to this one... the curent one is near my heart. it is me.

the next one will probably be a pheonix, concept and original design based on Shellys design in her profile. but i am going to introduce my own elements to it, but make referance to her to honour her in its making.
briefly, in words, the design will cover-
rebirth/renewal, fire, freedom, cycles, balance, energy, individualism, recovery...
It is rare that i'd consider using anyone elses concepts in my own tattoos, but i feel her reasons for designing it as it is, are very similar to my own, and there is a certain understanding there. regardless of what happens between her and i, i wouldnt regret the tattoo, and it will remain fitting.


also working on a ying and yang based design, but since that is now so cliched, it is being changed a great deal, with the two parts seperated slightly, in colours it will have cold and warm tones either side. fire and water, opposites but both essential. with assocaited emotions to each element, and mood,represented within them, and fluidity in both.
both latter tattoos will be very dynamic, so if ur tripping, u'll probably see them moving...lol.
< /rant >

<CENTER><FONT COLOR="8b2310">
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”<FONT COLOR="238b25">
-Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

k,got some up.
they look awful, but its something, and a start.
i wouldliketo get access to mywork up in edinburgh, my sculptural work, some of my photography and ink/collage/crazy messy stuff.
its all from a little while back, but was wheni was working most intensely on my art and studying it. now my eye is elsewhere for the moment, unfortunately.
still developing my other ideas, and have some material to start playing with on photoshop, concepts to explore yadi yadi yadi... etc.
oh, and a piccy of my tattoo, with the development sketches going in scraps,sometime soon.
lighting, decent quality images of work etc,are for now well beyond my reach. but i have something, it may not be glorious, but its something.
hopefully as timepassed, my submissions will look sharper, be better and ..yeah.
generally whati will say is i use alot of metaphors, symbolism and such like in what i do. generally if something is there, especially in mymore abstract paintings, its there for somekind of reason, whether to do with composition and geometry, or something im trying to convey.
this is less so for the life drawing, i didnt personally know the model, so couldnt depict her as a person through that work, and we had an excercise to follow regardless.
the photograph, i had a bit of luck with. the figures in the bottom left looking on at the craze. NY being one of the fastest and more intense cities of the world... the track of the centrallower figure behind him.. (not very visible) amongst other things. the warm glow is also nice (IMO) as it also contrasts how bloody cold it was that day, and the yetis wondering around

so there ya go. a couple of poor reproductions of my work..lol. (not that its all that anyway)

well...
not too much has changed since mylastlittle rant.
i have however got many good concepts in mymind, amny ideas to develop, and so much buzzing around inside of me. jsut sods law is im at practically the hardest point of the year for coursework right now... and have no free time, even though i still manage to make some, for better or worse, for the net.
i have 3-4 things i can upload, via a friends camera, in teh near future.
-a photo i took representing the chaos and frenzy of metropolitan existance, and how it can isolate, taken in grand central station NY a couple of years back on an art trip.
-my tattoo design, and its development sketches, and concepts,symbolism, metaphors.
-my favourite life drawing, froma coupleof years back, largely line based, due to the style we were encouraged to do it in, charcoal and chalk.
hopefully, i can get my parents to collect the rest of my work which is still on display scattered around edinburgh, or was in display and is now growing dust mountains.
i may also finish developing my next attoo designs,one for the back (large) one for upperright arm. and playing with the idea of a band design for the upper arm.
i have some pros, and poetry imconsidering finishing off, but its reallypretty piss poor compared with the majority around here.
im just hoping by the time i find time, i havent lost all these ideas... i have them floating around but,will try and put them down here while i remember.
want to play with some photomanipulations, but also capture many of the original images, though i may need to ask some friends to model for me, though i wont be able to get exactly what i want being purely amateur, and scabbing off students what time and favours i can

i have a character, based in mymind. i want to draw him in many styles,black and white blocked, light dark contrasting. sketchy, with pencil.
pure line drawing, either in black ink witha brush, or fine point
collage.. ooh.i developed a kind of technique which i was very happy with during A level, quite influenced by cubism, and developedto the point of near complete abstraction (if thats a word..) some photos id taken of edinburgh, relating to the photo above but alonga slightly different, darker theme. if i can take asimilar style to this character, basically i want to develop and experiemtn agreat deal on this, and will need to do many focused drawings particularly of the face, and expressions i want to convey.am tempted to try both a 'cartoony' style, and a more realist style. but to be hoenst im not all that good at all and cant expect to be able to do what is in myminds eye.. oh well. justgive it acrack sometime i guess.

umm.what else. photographs, both landscape and some crude attempts to emulate Sebastiao Selgados portraits. wondering who would be thebest models though, would probably go for B/Wwith these, as i find it more expressive, somehow.

damn i had a piece of pros i really wanted to develop which i thought of last night, hmmm... from having a good talk with astrid, about the nature of friendship, bonds and relationships between people... oh yeah. Easter Island infact..lol. it was a little,isolated exampleof what our self desructive side can do, and not developing sustainably. i hope we can learn lessons from the nightmare teh ensued there, and since im obsessed with sustainability and all the hippy bolx,i may havea go at putting it into some more communicative and expressive form than incoherent rants.. which aremy favoured approach for now.

oh another idea, is a cold/warms stylepainting, closely related in its ideas to my back tattoo design, but based instead on a human figure, possibly walking through a crowd. the warms representing the ideals, optomism,colds the isolation,apathy,disillusionment...would probably work best as a short series, to convey different moods at different times and circumstances... as weall go through our ups and downs. needs more development...... alot more. couldmaybe be done as a photographic series at first, develop sketchesform this, then move onto oils anda bit more abstract maybe... dunno.couldalso be done purely in colds/warms for different images, or monochromatic... hmmmm....

Andas ever,i am tempted to have rants on issues i am particularly concerned with. I saw a great image which i have added to myfavourites, with the passage *silectlips, not silentminds* or somethign very similar, which set me thinking.....
also the environment,.. as mentiond above. couldlooka t conservation issues, and the obviousplight of , well,almost everythign in ourplanet.polar beers could become the first main species to becomeextinct than joe bloggs will recognise. it pains me really,and makesmedispair.maybe i can use this in some way.. i dont know. it infuriatesme how we all know what we are dooing to our home, this world, most rare and beautiful of things,despite depressive downturns. the mainproblems i havewith life, are us, our race, myself. nature can be cruel, and kind, but it is a wonder. and we are fucking it up, and the more istudy, the more i devote myself to makinga differnace,helping people, trying to buy us just a littlemore time to sort ourselves out,learn these old old lessons, and not repeat the easter island incident, which i fear wewill....
its so immensely frustrating. and at times i think, why the hell should i bother, why not jsut enjoy myself, get back into art, get back into music, and travel.work as a monkey in an office, get by, save, travel, party,hednoism royale... i amon this course ONLY to makeadifferance.
i dont give aflying fuck about planes or cars, there are greater scientific minds than myown working there, i have apassion forlife, and this planet... argh.. many long stories.many more rants, but i really have gone on.
just thought id give those of u who read this, a little insight into myickle mind.
i am feeling particularly focused on looking at work relating to the environment, conservation, and mans power for destruction and creation now.yin and yang and all. i have thus far seen painfullylittle notice taken of environmental issues in art both in the mainstream and on here.
maybe i am not looking hard enough, i will give it a look soon. surely there is some, and not jsut pictures of cute lil kittens, lusty pictures of horses and the like...
k,rant over.im 3 hours alte for university,and have a group prject designing amachine to makepicture framesmass production style.oh joy.... it was due in,in part,45minutes ago...lol

well,
just started, have a fair bit of art work, and a portfolio... but im focused on my degree right now, and have no digital camera. will find a means of uploading as much work as I can, and will spend less time online and more time getting back into sketching, planning, painting, scultping and hopefully photography when i find money for a camera.
also have some graphics packages available for my mac for photomanipulation, and various other graphics work which im keen on experiementing more with.
i jsut feel its a shame i have nothing to offer my profile as of yet, there should eb an old life drawing i did a few years back uploaded soon though... and maybe some variations on my tattoo designs.
Dyl